Day 16: Wise and Faithful Friendship

Opening Scripture

Proverbs 18:24 24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (NIV)

Devotional Reflection

Within church fellowship, not all relationships are the same.

Our passage says that a person with unreliable friends will come to ruin—but why? If we are friends, not merely acquaintances, with unreliable people, the only way to remain close to them is to continually compensate for their deficits. The original Hebrew carries the sense that maintaining unreliable friendships requires spoiling them—giving them whatever they want, whenever they want it. This is because such people are not focused on being good friends to others, but on expecting everyone else to cater to their needs and desires.

In fellowship with believers, Christ is our example. Jesus had concentric circles of relationships. John may have been His closest friend, as Scripture repeatedly refers to him as “the disciple Jesus loved.” This does not mean Jesus loved John more than the others, but that their hearts, minds, desires, and personalities were more closely aligned, allowing for deeper relational closeness. John reclined next to Jesus at the Last Supper. John was the only disciple who remained with Jesus at the cross. Jesus entrusted His mother—whom He deeply loved—to John.

Jesus also had an inner circle. Peter, James, and John were the only ones brought up the mountain to witness the Transfiguration. They were also drawn closer to Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. They saw Jesus at His highest and His lowest moments in ways the others did not.

Jesus had the Twelve, who traveled with Him and shared daily life and meals with Him. He also had devoted followers whom He loved deeply. On the Day of Pentecost, we see 120 sincere disciples with enough maturity to remain faithful even after the crucifixion. Jesus also loved the crowds who came seeking another miracle or another meal. He loved the rich young ruler, even though the ruler loved his wealth more than Jesus.

Fellowship becomes more difficult when we crave many close friendships. To maintain many intimate relationships, we inevitably must spoil some to keep them. Instead, as the Lord places people in our lives, we are called to love them all, while exercising discernment about how much access they have to our hearts. The number of people we give full access to our inner lives should be limited to those who will sacrifice for us as willingly as we will for them.

Through discernment, even when some within the church hurt us, we are protected from abandoning the body. We remain in fellowship, grounded in wisdom rather than wounded by disappointment.

The Examen

Who are the few people I have allowed closest to my heart, and are those relationships marked by mutual sacrifice and faithfulness?

Am I seeking many close relationships, or am I allowing God to shape a few deep and reliable friendships?

Lectio Divina Scripture

Proverbs 18:1 An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels. (NIV)

Read the passage slowly, out loud, several times. With each reading, emphasize a different word or phrase. Notice what stands out and why.

Prayer Prompt

Lord, give me close and reliable friends. And let me be that kind of friend for them. Amen.