Day 36: Returning or Withdrawing

Opening Scripture

Matthew 27:5 (NIV)

Then he went away and hanged himself.

Devotional Reflection

As we near the end of this season of fasting, we must decide whether we will continue in devotion. The purpose of prayer, fasting, and Scripture is not to experience a temporary, Jesus-filled retreat only to return to the same patterns of life we had before. This season is meant to be a beginning—a restart marked by new disciplines, renewed faith, and deeper devotion. The question before us is simple and serious: Will you continue?

Jesus told Judas to do what he had set out to do. Judas found the temple guards and led them to Jesus under the cover of darkness in the Garden of Gethsemane. He then watched as Christ was falsely accused, flogged, and sentenced to death on a cross. Scripture tells us that Judas was filled with remorse and regret. After attempting to return the silver, he went away and hanged himself.

Peter also betrayed Jesus—not in a way that directly led to His arrest, but nonetheless he denied even knowing Christ, despite being warned that it would happen. Peter too was filled with remorse. Scripture says he went out and wept bitterly.

Yet the stories of Judas and Peter diverge sharply at this point.

After the resurrection, when the women arrived at the empty tomb, the angel instructed them to go and tell the disciples—and Peter that Jesus had risen. Peter withdrew for a time to grieve and weep, but he did not remain alone. Eventually, he returned to the fellowship of the disciples—friends who knew him, loved him, encouraged him, and at times rebuked him. It was community, fellowship, and shared devotion that helped Peter bear his guilt and shame without being destroyed by it.

Judas, however, isolated himself.

We cannot help but wonder what might have happened if Judas had returned to the disciples and confessed. Scripture is clear that God is faithful to forgive those who repent and confess their sins. Had Judas returned, he would have been restored. He would have been part of the early church. His story would have ended differently.

If we desire to continue growing in devotion, we must not allow the wounds of life or the accusations of the enemy to pull us away from the fellowship of believers. God often uses community to preserve us—through love, encouragement, accountability, and truth. Isolation is dangerous. Fellowship is protective. Do not go away. Return.

The Examen

1. When I experience guilt, shame, or failure, do I tend to withdraw into isolation or return to a trusted spiritual community?

2. What step might God be inviting me to take toward deeper connection and accountability rather than withdrawal?

Lectio Divina Scripture

Psalms 34:22

²² The LORD will rescue his servants;

no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned. (NIV)

Read the passage slowly out loud several times. With each reading, emphasize a different word or phrase. Notice what stands out and why.

Prayer Prompt

Lord, keep me from withdrawing when I fail. Draw me back to You and to Your people when shame tempts me to isolate. Give me the humility to return, the courage to confess, and the grace to continue in devotion. Amen.