The Best Decision You Can Make in Any Situation For a Better Marriage

Do You Really Know What Is the Best Decision in Any Situation?

Life is a mystery. We see a situation and we reason out what we believe to be the best way forward. We overcome our fear that we might be wrong. Finally, we do what we think is right.

But in marriage, what we believe is right may not be what our spouse believes to be right. We will have different opinions on how to manage money, how to parent our children, how to deal with in-laws, and everything else under the sun. As much as we might hope it to be true, we will never share a brain. Our experiences in life differ too much for us to expect to agree all the time.

And when we don’t agree, we have a choice. We can choose to be blessed or we can choose to be right. But being blessed and being on the right side of an argument do not always go together.

Apart from Him, We Can Do Nothing

John 15:5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." (NIV)

The Bible is clear that apart from Him, we can do nothing. We cannot make the right decisions. We cannot choose the path of wisdom. We cannot make our marriage better. We cannot raise emotionally stable children. We can’t do any of these things apart from Him.

We need the Holy Spirit guiding us. We need Him to guide our words, to guide our plans, to guide our reactions and responses to every circumstance.

But with Him, all things are possible. He guides us into all truth. He makes us bear the fruit of love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control. These turn every situation for good. Apart from Him, we can do nothing.

Keep the Flame of the Spirit Alive

1 Thessalonians 5:16-19"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit." (NIV)

In Scripture, the Holy Spirit, God within us, is likened unto a flame. We are taught to fan the flame meaning we should live into the ways of God so that we operate in accordance with the Word of Truth, remaining in the Spirit, keeping the fire lit in us at all times.

A flame can be put out easily. When we fail to rejoice, to pray, to give thanks, the flame goes out. Negativity and selfishness are water to the flame of God. But also, to keep the fire alive in us as we interact with others, we must pursue unity with one another and the Holy Spirit.

Unity in Marriage

Ephesians 4:2-3"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." (NIV)

When our goal is to find unity together in the Spirit, our marriage will be filled with His power, creating more love, more peace, more wisdom for better decisions. In this, God places unity with one another and Him higher than the correct response.

Often, in marriage especially, we argue and fight because each of us thinks we have the correct perspective and the right response while believing our spouse is wrong. It is human nature to follow what we feel. We see a situation and form an opinion of what we believe is the best response. Once we have this in our mind, it is difficult for us to see things differently even if our spouse is quite persuasive. The disagreement of how to proceed leaves the door open for discord and discord quenches the fire of the Spirit.

Submission, Authority, and Peace

Throughout Scripture, we see the Lord laying out the principle of submission and authority. The early Christians being persecuted in Rome were commanded by God to submit to these authorities. Of course, we know from history that those authorities were not doing things in a Godly manner, yet God’s command is to submit. Clearly, the Lord does not want us to submit to any authority commanding us to sin. But outside of sin, God is clearly teaching us that unity is better than arguing and pushing back when we think we are right and they are wrong.

The Scripture does teach that wives are to submit to their husbands. It is not because husbands have greater wisdom. Most wives would say amen to that. It is because peace and unity keep the flame of the Spirit burning. With the Spirit, all things are possible. Without Him, we can do nothing.

Husbands, before you walk away beating your chest as the head of your wife, don’t forget that before the Bible teaches wives to submit to their husbands, we are first taught to submit one to another. We are not to Lord over anyone the authority God has given over us. A dominant husband puts out the fire of the Spirit every time.

Choosing to Be Blessed

Simply put, in moments of disagreement, you have a choice. You can choose to be blessed by God and His Spirit. Or, you can choose to argue your point to prove you are right and they are wrong. You can have a disagreeing discussion in a way that keeps a tight grip on unity and the Spirit, but once one person is offended, a choice has to be made. You can keep pushing and prove they are wrong or you can work toward unity even if it means not doing what you think is best. Again, if one option is sin, then none of this matters. But if sin is not how either spouse wants to move forward, then it is better to submit one to another than to fight and argue.

If the Spirit is with us through the unity we choose, all things are possible. God restores what the enemy has stolen. God redeems time. God increases resources. God opens doors previously not seen. Any time that we choose peace over arguing and choose a route that is less than the best, the blessing of the Spirit will work any bad decision for our good.

To prioritize pleasing God over getting our way will always lead to greater blessings. After all, there is no way for us to see into the future to know with certainty that if we force the issue with our temper to get our way it will lead to the outcome we think it will. There is no way to know. So, it is better to trust the Spirit.

A Challenge for the Days Ahead

Over the next few days, you have a choice. I challenge you to choose peace over arguing and see if the Holy Spirit doesn’t work things out for your good while your marriage gets better.

Do you want an incredible marriage?

When God speaks of his relationship with his followers, the church, we are referred to as the Bride, and he is the Groom. God designed marriage between a man and woman to reflect his relationship with us. This means God intends for your marriage to be more than you ever could imagine, all to help us understand how great of a relationship he desires to have with us.

Most people do not understand the principles God has given for marriage. They think they do, but if they really did, the divorce rate for Christians would not equal the divorce rate outside the church. Christians are missing something—and Christian marriage should be more than incredible.

God wants your marriage to be incredible!

Biblical principles for marriage set a foundation for the most incredible relationship possible, outside of our relationship with God himself.

The Sacred Union offers deep biblical truth designed to help to bring healing from your past relationships—and transforming your heart so you can love better and deeper than ever before.Whether you have been married for twenty years or you’re about to get married, this book will help you have the best marriage ever.

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