When Mercy Meets Truth: Boundaries in Christian Love

Psalms 85:10 (NIV)

10 Love and faithfulness meet together;

righteousness and peace kiss each other.

Love in this passage comes from a word that means mercy. It is continued kindness, though undeserved. The word peace comes from a word that means truth or stability. Truth is a philosophical approach defined and taught through Scripture, empowered by the Holy Spirit, and revealed through the life of Christ, which brings stability to our lives. Our passage is teaching us, however, that these only meet. They are not fastened. They can, and at times, need to be separated.

Mercy is a form of love that extends to the other when they have broken the covenant. This is a love that Christ extends to us on the cross. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). However, this mercy has a limit. There are times in some relationships when the truth that stabilizes our lives requires us to diminish or remove the mercy we give.

To help us understand, consider God’s mercy that extends as long as we have breath in our lungs, but past this, there is judgment. On judgment day, we will be judged according to our faith in Christ. If we have made Him our Lord and Savior, we are considered innocent, with every sin having been washed away. But the mercy ends if Christ is not our Lord. This teaches us that our mercy to others must also have limits.

Jesus taught that we must not give to dogs what is sacred or cast our pearls to pigs. He is teaching us that if we continually extend mercy to those who constantly take advantage of our kindness without repentance, we are sinning. We sin by enabling a behavior in them that works to destroy their lives, not to mention our own. Love does not enable bad behavior. Limits and boundaries are necessary. Truth no longer takes the form of mercy, but discipline, tough love.

Before anyone reaches the end of God’s mercy, He sets many boundaries to help them turn back in the right direction. Our love should mirror this. Cutting someone off completely should be our last resort after many other boundaries have been set to help them turn back in the right direction in how they treat us. It’s hard to know when and how to set these boundaries, but the point of our passage is that there is a time for boundaries. We set these boundaries for their benefit. We honor them by doing our part to help them repent of their ways. This is our motive, though this action also protects our hearts and honors the heart of God. He doesn’t want to see us hurt. And He doesn’t want to see them ruin their lives.

Prayer: Lord, teach me the boundaries of Christian love and let me learn how to set appropriate boundaries not to punish anyone, but to protect them from behaviors that will harm their lives. Amen.