Discerning the Right Words

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Our words should come out of our mouths according to the needs of others. We have already looked at Scripture this week that reminds us that if we can keep a tight rein on our tongue, it also keeps our whole body in check. Our words will form our spirit in holiness. To use our words to be formed in Christlikeness, we must reorient our priority from our desires to what others need. In other words, the power of our words increases in potential for good when they pour out of a heart that loves others.

In discerning the right words, we cannot allow ourselves to be confused by what people want and what they need. A child may want to stay up all night eating hot Cheetos, but that’s not what they need. To discern what others need, it is necessary to remember that all that we truly need comes to us from the Lord. Knowing what others need then requires us to consider what words we can speak to help them move nearer to God.

In this, we must also consider the state of their hearts in the moment. They may need to hear that they are too easily offended, but it will not be received if their hearts are not in the right spirit, even if we say it with kindness and gentleness. It will push them further from the Lord rather than nearer. It is best to comfort them until they are ready to hear the truth spoken in love. We don’t endorse the behavior, but love them first, then correct them. People will not receive correction from those they don’t believe have their best interests at heart. But they will listen when they trust your desire to improve their life.

As we use our words to benefit others more than extracting from them what we want, our hearts are formed in Christ. We love better in this discipline. We love God, others, and ourselves better. Words discerned well in this way allow the Lord to use us to change lives, save souls, and break generational curses.

Prayer: Lord, let me enter each conversation, considering the needs of the other more than my own. Amen.